Saturday, July 9, 2011
There are many ways to experience death. There is accidental, intentional and purposeful.
There is emotional death. The kind where a relationship comes to an end. This is the type of death where you know it is coming and you may even participate in ending it. Although you know it is ending, you may still have a hard time releasing yourself from the memories. Often times in an emotional passing, we keep reviving the relationship. We keep yelling: CLEAR!!! keeping it alive a little while longer when we know we should call it and write down the time.
Then there is physical death. This death could be accidental, intentional, or expected. Either way it hurts because we know it is final. There are times in a physical death we feel guilty, sad, mad, angry, relieved. Most of the times we feel these feelings all at the same time. We may feel guilty because we failed to do something with or for that person before they passed. We may feel sad and mad because we are going to miss them more than we ever thought. We may feel relieved because if they were sick and in pain for a long time, at least now they are pain free.
Over the last 5 years, I have experienced more deaths, emotional and physical, than I have in my entire lifetime. Some emotional deaths I tried to resuscitate. Some I put on life support. Some I was relieved to see them go. Some physical deaths were unexpected, so it shook me to my core. Some were kind of expected, but I held out, hoping they would get better.
What I have learned about death, is that every experience brought with it a new set of emotions in a different way. Sometimes it brought loneliness, other times it brought joy. Sometimes it brought sadness, other times it brought peace. Sometimes nothing came and that is when I hear the voice.
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Until next time
Be Blessed, Sisterfriend